This Is How I Murder My Friends

The guy below is an old friend of mine. His name is John Heinstein. We've worked together at three companies, the most recent being Virtual Expert Clinics, a company that creates software to help families of children with autism. John is the author of the cult classic, The Cheap Red Wine Manifesto, and a member of the BlackTop MotorCycle Gang.


He's also one of the lead characters in Murder by Burger. Here's how he looks in the book ...

At the edge of the island of desks and computers, stood a short bald-headed man wearing round eyeglasses and a white robe. He appeared to have something intangible surrounding him, as though he emanated a force that made the air all around him shake. Or maybe it was just that Boston had seen his picture a thousand times on NetVision and the e-rags.

Besides being short and cue-ball-bald, Dr. John Jonathan Toole blinked incessantly. He could have been twenty-five, he could have been fifty-five; his pupils were so dilated that he had no irises, so it was impossible to tell what color his eyes were. He wore leather sandals and his socks had holes in them. But the aura of energy about him was unmistakable, something high-strung and metabolically similar to the boundless energy surrounding a gerbil.

Boston reached out his hand to shake, but Toole stood with his hands clasped in front of him and said in a squeaky voice, “Hey, man, your effin’ nose is blue.” (blink blink)

Now, I guess the question is - did I murder him off? Hmm ... could be. Or maybe not. But then, who knows?